Phuket & on the way to Bangkok

26 May I arrived in Phuket by plane from Ko Samui. I was bundled into a minicab. (A Toyota hiace with 15 seats) It was about a fiver cheaper than a taxi so i gave it a go. Never again. It took 3 hours to go 25km as they went from office to office looking to fill the bus before they embarked on the huge 25km journey across town. I decided to go to a place called Karon Beach to the Bazoom hostel and guesthouse. when i got there at 11pm it was closed for renovation. So much for the latest Lonely planet guide book. Anyway the ever opportunistic Thai minicab driver had a brainwave and he knew a 'werry nie plates' (very nice place) in Patpong. Anyway, i arrived at this place which was an overpriced dump. I thought i was doing yoga when i lay down on the mattress with my head and feet up in the air and my ass 6 inches from the floor. Anyway headed down the town and found a nicer place (Tatum Mansion) for way less and booked in for the following 2 nights. Funny room but i liked it, it had no window but had a nice bed, a/c and cable tv, dvd, mini bar etc so it was ok.
27 May I got talking to a tuk tuk driver this morning and he said he'd bring me all around the island on my own 4 hour private guided tour for E12. He was a nice auld skin and spoke good English. Deal!, i said and off we went. He was 43 and had 7 kids...we were going to get on great. Our tour took in lots of things including a trip to Tesco. This island was badly hit by the Tsunami and he witnessed it. He said ' I run up hill with seaside on my feets!' his body language spoke volumes. That night i went to the hugely popular 'Simon cabaret'. This was a huge auditorium with comfy leather seats, a/c and all the stars were ladyboys! All in the name of research i say, and they were very good looking. As Stephen Corbett said to me in Ko Samui, if you had to choose between the ugliest girl in Ireland or the best looking LB...which would you choose? waist up no bother.
28 May Went on a speedboat trip to Phi Phi island, where they shot 'The Beach' a movie starring Leonardo de Caprio in 2000. I saw Coca cola drinking monkeys that swam and entertained visitors. They were wild but they were used to us. I tried to give one of them some banana but it wanted sweets. I remember a few monkeys in Ireland with that attitude. Went to a few other paradise islands but was getting bored after a while. All selling Cornettos for E3.50. It was a beautiful part of the world though.
29 May I left Phuket this morning, but not without my daily dose of drama. The hotel had a 24 hr laundry service which i engaged but 36 hours later there was no sign of my laundry. The receptionist wanted me to check out on time but i said 'no pants, no chance' she failed to see the funny side. Anyway i was told to go for breakfast and they would have it on my return. Sure enough it was all there. I got a motorcycle taxi to the bus stop, on the back of a honda 50 with my bag and baggage (as my old primary school teacher, Mrs Mullarkey used to say). Must have been a sight. I took the bus north to Takum Pa and then east to Khao Sok national park. I checked into 'Our Jungle House' and that evening i went 'Tubing' (sitting into fully inflated truck tyre tubes) down a river which was slow but relaxing. I whacked my arse off a big submerged rock but otherwise was good. The Guides 10 year old son joined us but was a real show off, a nice lad though but funny how kids are the same everwhere.
30 May I rented a motobike today and went off into the national park. I went to this huge dam and drove around for a bit. On the way home the heavens opened up and was caught in a monsoon shower with no shelter. I eventually foud a hut on the side of the road but the damage was done. Everything was soaked including my lonely planet book, phone and clothes. I dried everything as best i could but in a humid evironment thats not easy. Funny though driving home in the downpour was strangely enjoyable...the rain was warm and quiet pleasant. I had a great meal and a nice beer in the restaurant of the guest house and all was forgotten.
31 May Got the bus from the entrance to the park today to a town called Phun Phin. It has a train station where the Bangkok train passes through. Im booked onto the 6.22pm train with sleeper bed, will take 11 hours........ah the good life.